You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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