Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
