def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
