Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
