Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
