I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
