She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
