Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
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