I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
