he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
