she woke up with a sticky ear
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Randomize
