Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
