i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
