Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
