Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
