my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
