Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
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