You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
