guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
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