Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
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