Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
