i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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