she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
you had me at cake vodka
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
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