Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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