Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
