we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
