There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
