Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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