I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
