ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
