grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
