if you like me you must not know who I am
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
