Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
how drunk are you?
Several
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
