please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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