Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
