so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
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