About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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