i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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