I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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