Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
