So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I looked at my own cervix.
you win again, gameday.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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