no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
