Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Randomize
