He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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