If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
