do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
