Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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