Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
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