Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
