is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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