I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
